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Title : Parenting; How Goes It?
link : Parenting; How Goes It?
Parenting; How Goes It?
Two interesting articles on parenting; I'll be interested on your take of either or both.The first is from Mother Jones on school discipline. I absolutely agree with trying to help kids figure out what is really upsetting them (and giving them tools to deal with anger). Punishment doesn't really work for a child with real issues so more care needs to be taken.
But, as someone in a classroom on a regular basis, I will push back a bit. If a teacher has a large class plus the kid in question is endangering other students (not just stopping the teaching and learning), the teacher needs the ability to act. And sometimes, it won't be nuanced.
Has your child ever complained about another child disrupting class? Is kindness taught for other children's issues?
The other article is from the New York Times, The Relentlessness of Modern Parenting. (I actually heard something on NPR this morning about Amazon's own relentlessness and that Alexa had read literally hundreds of thousands of holiday stories. Really? Even during a holiday, parents can't read to their own children? But I digress.)
Tantalizing tidbits from the story:
The amount of money parents spend on children, which used to peak when they were in high school, is now highest when they are under 6 and over 18 and into their mid-20s.
There are signs of a backlash, led by so-called free-range parents, but social scientists say the relentlessness of modern-day parenting has a powerful motivation: economic anxiety. For the first time, it’s as likely as not that American children will be less prosperous than their parents.
“Intensive parenting is a way for especially affluent white mothers to make sure their children are maintaining their advantaged position in society,” said Jessica Calarco, a sociologist at Indiana University and author of “Negotiating Opportunities: How the Middle Class Secures Advantages in School.”
The time parents spend in the presence of their children has not changed much, but parents today spend more of it doing hands-on child care. Time spent on activities like reading to children; doing crafts; taking them to lessons; attending recitals and games; and helping with homework has increased the most. Today, mothers spend nearly five hours a week on that, compared with 1 hour 45 minutes hours in 1975 — and they worry it’s not enough.
At the same time, there has been little increase in support for working parents, like paid parental leave, subsidized child care or flexible schedules, and there are fewer informal neighborhood networks of at-home parents because more mothers are working.
Parenthood is more hands-off in many other countries. In Tokyo, children start riding the subway alone by first grade, and in Paris, they spend afternoons unaccompanied at playgrounds. Intensive parenting has gained popularity in England and Australia, but it has distinctly American roots — reflecting a view of child rearing as an individual, not societal, task.
Race influences parents’ concerns, too. Ms. Jones said that as a parent of black boys, she decided to raise them in a mostly black neighborhood so they would face less racism, even though it meant driving farther to many activities.
This is common for middle-class black mothers, found Dawn Dow, a sociologist at the University of Maryland whose book, “Mothering While Black: Boundaries and Burdens of Middle-Class Parenthood,” comes out in February. “They’re making decisions to protect their kids from early experiences of racism,” Ms. Dow said. “It’s a different host of concerns that are equally intensive.”“It’s still an open question whether it’s the parenting practices themselves that are making the difference, or is it simply growing up with college-educated parents in an environment that’s richer in many dimensions?” said Liana Sayer, a sociologist at the University of Maryland and director of the Time Use Laboratory there. “I don’t think any of these studies so far have been able to answer whether these kids would be doing well as adults regardless, simply because of resources."
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